5 Signs Your Nervous System Needs a Reset

Why Everything Feels So Hard (It's Not Just You)

You're exhausted but can't sleep. You want to relax but can't stop scrolling. You know you're safe, but your body feels like something terrible is about to happen.

If this sounds familiar, your nervous system might be sending you signals that it needs support.

Your autonomic nervous system - the part that operates below conscious awareness - controls your heart rate, digestion, breathing, and stress response. When it's working well, you can handle challenges, connect with others, and recover from stress. When it's dysregulated, even small things feel impossible.

Here are 5 science-backed signs that your nervous system needs a reset - and what's actually happening inside your body.

Sign #1: You're Stuck in "On" or "Off" Mode

What it looks like:

• Wired but tired - exhausted yet unable to rest
• Swinging between hyperactivity (can't sit still, always busy) and complete collapse (can't get off the couch)
• No middle ground between anxious overwhelm and total shutdown
• Feeling like you're either running on adrenaline or running on empty

What's happening in your body:

According to polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, your nervous system has three states: ventral vagal (calm, connected), sympathetic (fight/flight), and dorsal vagal (freeze/shutdown).

When you're dysregulated, you lose access to that calm middle state. Your system ping-pongs between high activation (anxiety, panic, restlessness) and collapse (depression, numbness, exhaustion).

This isn't a character flaw - it's your nervous system doing what it learned to do to survive.

Sign #2: Your "Stress Container" Has Shrunk

What it looks like:

• Small inconveniences trigger big emotional reactions
• You snap at people over minor things and then feel terrible
• Situations that "shouldn't" bother you send you spiraling
• You feel like you're always on the edge of overwhelm
• Decision fatigue hits early in the day

What's happening in your body:

Think of your nervous system like a container for stress. When it's well-regulated, your container is large - you can hold challenges without overflowing. When you're dysregulated, your container shrinks. There's no room for anything extra.

This is why you might handle a major crisis at work but fall apart when you can't find your keys. Your system is already full - there's no capacity left.

Your reaction isn't "dramatic" - your nervous system is genuinely overwhelmed.

Sign #3: You Feel Disconnected From Your Body

What it looks like:

• Living "in your head" - constant mental chatter
• Difficulty feeling physical sensations (hunger, tiredness, pain)
• Numbness or feeling like you're watching your life from outside
• Struggling to identify emotions when asked "how do you feel?"
• Not noticing you're stressed until you're completely depleted

What's happening in your body:

This is dissociation - a brilliant survival mechanism that helps you cope with overwhelming experiences by "leaving" your body. The problem is, when dissociation becomes chronic, you lose connection with the very signals your body uses to communicate with you.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of "The Body Keeps the Score," explains that trauma survivors often lose the ability to feel sensations in their bodies - a condition called interoceptive awareness impairment.

Your body is speaking. Reconnecting means learning to listen again.

Sign #4: Sleep and Digestion Are Disrupted

What it looks like:

• Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
• Waking up tired no matter how long you slept
• Racing thoughts at bedtime
• Bloating, IBS, constipation, or stomach pain without clear medical cause
• Appetite changes - eating too much or forgetting to eat

What's happening in your body:

Sleep and digestion are controlled by your parasympathetic nervous system - the "rest and digest" branch. When you're stuck in sympathetic activation (fight/flight), your body literally cannot properly sleep or digest food.

Your body is prioritizing survival over maintenance. From your nervous system's perspective: "Why would I waste energy digesting lunch when I might need to run from a tiger?"

The problem? There's no tiger. But your body doesn't know that.

Your gut is often called your "second brain" - when it's off, your whole system suffers.

Sign #5: You Crave Connection But Push People Away

What it looks like:

• Longing for intimacy but feeling suffocated when someone gets close
• Difficulty trusting even safe people
• Feeling like you don't belong, even with people who love you
• Withdrawing when you need support most
• Finding reasons to end relationships before they can hurt you

What's happening in your body:

Humans are wired for co-regulation - our nervous systems are designed to calm down in the presence of safe others. But if early relationships taught your system that people are unpredictable or unsafe, connection itself can feel threatening.

Your nervous system might be saying: "Don't let anyone too close - that's how you get hurt." It's trying to protect you using old data.

The wound happened in relationship. Healing often does too.

What You Can Do: Starting Today

Recognizing these patterns is powerful - it means you're already bringing awareness to your nervous system. Here's how to begin the reset:

1. Regulate before you "fix"
When you're dysregulated, problem-solving doesn't work. First, calm your body. Try: 5 slow exhales (longer out than in), cold water on wrists, or feet firmly planted on the ground.

2. Start small and consistent
Five minutes of daily breathwork does more than one hour once a week. Nervous system healing happens through repetition.

3. Find co-regulation
Your nervous system learns safety from other regulated nervous systems. This might be a trusted friend, a therapist, or a somatic practitioner.

4. Move your body
Gentle movement - walking, stretching, shaking - helps discharge stuck survival energy.

5. Work with a professional
Some patterns are too deep to shift alone. A trained somatic practitioner can guide you through nervous system regulation in a safe, supported way.

The Truth About Healing

Your nervous system isn't broken. It adapted to survive circumstances that required these responses. The patterns that feel like problems now were once solutions.

Healing isn't about fixing what's wrong with you. It's about updating your nervous system's software - teaching it that you're safe now, that you can handle life, that connection is possible.

Your body has been working so hard to protect you. Now it's time to help it rest.